For Missie

So you died on a Saturday night
Isn't that just so like you to do
When we spoke I knew something wasn't right
I just didn't know that I was to lose you.
I guess it's only fair that your heart was done.
In 30yrs it had already endured so much.
But there were still days filled with fun;
Laughter, teasing, inside jokes and such
Does the good ever outweigh the bad?
Can it ever really cover the scars?
Can the happy days soothe the sad?
Can joyous acts keep demons in jars?
I will never know what you think of this.
I will never find the true nature of your mind.
Did you see your life as one of tragedy or bliss?
Did you ever look for what u wanted to find?
For me, my hurt is as deep as my regret
But so is my love and my gratitude.
You showed me something I will never forget.
The power, the strength of a good attitude.
I just need to find a way to get out of this bed.
Start participating in my life and things I love.
But I just can't seem to escape out of my head.
And I find no comfort down here or up above.
So much I wish we had rather left unsaid
And so much I wish that could be undone
So much of what I desperately used to dread
I see now were nothing; like shadows in sun.
What does it matter
It's all over now.
Your ashes we will scatter
The only question is how.